I’m NOT wearing that!
Who doesn’t love to shop for their child? I know I do. There is something about them all dressed up in their cute outfits that brings us joy. Even before I had my son, I would go into the baby section and look at all the clothes for fun. My fiancé (who was my boyfriend at the time) would get annoyed. He would tell me that once I had a child then I could go shopping all I wanted. Ha-ha! I bet he wishes he never made that comment. My son’s closet began to look like my own clothing store with tags as far as the eye could see. Little did I realize that my son’s intolerance to certain textures would bring my shopping sprees to a screeching halt…
STORY: I walked into one of my favorite clothing stores. I was excited about the sign that read 50-65% off storewide. I walked to the toddler section and started piling a bunch of clothes in my basket that I just had to have for Gio. In my mind I just knew that he would make a great toddler commercial model. While the cameras only saw one of the many parents who keeps them in business.
Afterwards, I headed home. Once I get there, I go to show him all the new clothes I got him but of course it kept his attention for all of two minutes. He could have cared less. I make him try on a pair of jeans, but he gets upset and starts pulling them off. So I tried another pair, but I got the same reaction. It was summertime so I figured he would like the jean shorts instead. He whines and takes those off too. He walks away to go back and play with his toys. At this point I am annoyed at his lack of enthusiasm for his cool new clothes, so I leave him alone.
One school morning, I try to put the jeans on him again. He was tugging at them and saying “no.” I think nothing of it and just assume he is being whiny. I tell him to stop pulling on his pants and let’s go. After a long workday when I get home there is a note from his teacher. The note reads that he took off his jeans and was in his underwear in class. Feeling slightly embarrassed I say “really Gio?” and point to the note. I imagine him walking around in his underwear at school. Later that week there was no school, so he went to his daycare for the day. When his dad went to pick him up, they told him that Gio kept trying to take off his jeans.
REALITY CHECK: I thought about it some more and I remembered that he did the same thing when I first tried to put those jeans on him. So that made me wonder, could it be the material? What about denim did he not like? Was it the texture? And even if it was, why did it bother him so much? I just didn’t understand, so I went searching online.
I learned that part of SPD was the sensitivity to certain textures. I got so upset at myself. How could I not have realized this before? I mean I know I grew up in a time where you wore what your parents told you to wear no questions asked. I just expected my son to do the same. But my son is different, he processes textures differently. He doesn’t like the way jeans feel on him, they are uncomfortable and stiff. To him it could feel like sharp needles on his skin. Unlike his basketball shorts that are a smooth texture.
So, I had to stop buying him those cute jeans that I loved so much because my son didn’t like the way they felt. It could not be about me and the fact that they looked cute to me, but that they didn’t feel good to him. I started only buying him cotton sweatpants, cotton shorts, and basketball shorts. Jeans and khaki are not an option. My dream of Gio being a toddler model was out of the question, because there are some clothes that he refuses to wear. So, in order to keep from having to fight with him over clothes every morning we changed his wardrobe. Making both our mornings less stressful. Although I will never fully understand what he feels. I do what I can, as his parent, to make sure he stays comfortable.
Do:
-Let your child choose what to wear, so they can feel good physically.
-Pay attention to any signs that they are uncomfortable with an article of clothing.
-Found something they love to wear and buy it in as many colors as they have!
Don’t:
-Buy stiff clothes.
-Force them to wear what YOU want.